*** This is an introduction to a new series of articles, spread over a few weeks, entitled ‘Back to Family’ ***
Let us present two distinct yet important life moments:
- The new college student
As you enter your first year of college, both excited and slightly terrified at the prospect of the adventure before you, everyone around you beams of joy and excitement. Your parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins alike recount the many hilarious stories of their own college years. Your father places a hand on your shoulder and tells you what he, and everybody else considers the most important piece of advice a college student can get:
‘ENJOY IT! This is the greatest time of your life and its so short lived. Then you become a full fledged adult so dont be in a hurry. Change majors if you need to. Date and flirt. Go to parties and make new friends. Travel the world!’
In other words: soak it up! Live your college experience to the fullest, so that when your graduation day comes you have no regrets. You’ve done it all.
THEN there is this moment
2. The expecting first time parent
As you enter your second trimester of pregnancy, both excited and slightly terrified at the prospect of the adventure before you, everyone around you beams of joy and excitement. Your parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins alike recount the many horror stories of their own baby years. Your mother places a hand on your shoulder and tells you what she, and everybody else considers the most important piece of advice a new parent can get:
‘Don’t forget to go on date nights often. Don’t stop living because of this child, keep up with all your old hobbies. Go to parties and get a babysitter, he will be fine for a few hours! Don’t let the baby dictate your new schedule. When are you going back to work? I hope you wont let this impact your career. Did you choose a daycare yet? Its really important you dont loose yourself here, lots of people change when they have kids and then that’s not fair to your partner’.
Sound about right?
When did our college years become more important and more worthy than our years as parents? Why would we encourage a college student to fully immerse himself in parties and traveling but tell a new parent to fight the changes in his life every step of the way?
When did parenthood become so negative?
Why is growth within a college student into a more mature and cultivated individual encouraged while the growth within a parent as a team member, a responsible caring human, and a loving partner discouraged?
Why is selfishness within college years so valuable while selflessness within parenting years considered a loss?
Why should the changes in parenthood be avoided at all cost but those of college embraced?
At BeBaby we believe it’s time to stop shaming parenthood. We believe it time we embrace it and encourage it and foster it within new and experienced parents alike.
Stay tuned for the next few weeks, as we discuss the all important transition into parenthood, and why not fighting it, but embracing it, is, in our opinion, the best way to ensure your relationship strives rather than survives parenthood.
Next article: The mythical monster of parenthood: How society decided being a parent was a threat to you.